happy life | On My Canvas

14 Things You Can Care Less About

In today’s noisy world, learning how not to care is indispensable.

But tell this to the neurons in our brain. They don’t rest even when we want to stop thinking. Sometimes, we cannot control our mind which runs around like a cat chasing its tail.

To pause our thoughts, we hang out with friends on Saturday evenings. We dance to rhythmic music or Netflix and drink — all to take our minds off things.

Imagine — if we could be in that thoughtless state most of the time. If we could block the redundant noise to focus on the important matter at hand. Or if we could just sit down quietly with a cup of tea on Sunday evening.

Practice being mindful (by doing meditation) helps. But we have to pull out some of our deep-rooted agonies otherwise even after a one-hour Vipassana we will be nourishing the same soul-sucking creepers that never bloom.

But what worries fill our minds?

Mostly we think about two kinds of things:

The important ones
And the ones that are not important

Unimportant things cloud our minds like the winter fog. Except that we rarely have a change of weather. Clear days with the sun shining bright outside our window are forever elusive.

Let us look at some of the fog that can be lifted to make way for sunlight.

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I went to Chile in July 2016, and going to South America was the best decision of my life. That vibrant continent added an additional layer to my personality. It was like discovering rosemary suddenly.

I learned so much in those nine months that I would not have in many years in my home country India.

I started speaking a new language — Spanish, made friends from all over the world, taught English, lived with strangers from different continents, ended up loving those people, experienced the Latin American culture closely, traveled to places that I had no idea existed, and made life-long friends.

The Spanish accent in Orange is the New Black was the initial pull but there is a difference between the fictional world and the real one. In fiction, everything looks glamorous. Reality is not that glossy.

Except that it was.

South America gave me a new energy and a new outlook.

I did not know all of this when I left. Then why did I leave?

Purposeful, Healthy, and Mindful Living.

About Looking Inwards crumb trails on the road again, break the routine, travel resources, sacred place and years of hard work, travel books, and recent adventures Dear Reader, Thank you for joining me. I hope the weeks have been good to you. Apologies for being away again! But that giant project is off my hands, …

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Why do we need a purposeful, meaningful life?

We are born, play around, attend school and college, get a job, set up a family, and then die. Each one of us — hopefully — adds something to the world; we evolve, the human race becomes smarter, and this repeats.

In the end, we do not get out alive, then why does everything — a broken relationship, a layoff, a fight at work, a stomach ache, a smartwatch — matter so much? What is all of this adding up to? Evolution?

All of this is adding up to these moments that the life is collectively composed of.

Why is it important to have a meaning in our life? So that all these moments together sing a melodious song and not blare out a cacophonous cry.

in lake titicaca living a nomadic life solo traveler priyanka gupta

Why I Travel

Since I started traveling relentlessly for the past few years, my friends, family, and everyone else started asking me that why do people travel so much, what did I do for six months in Chile traveling alone, what did I see, how did I feel in a country where I couldn’t even speak the language, how did I manage to travel for so long, and how did my family react?

They say I’m lucky I get to travel so much.

I smile. I lecture everybody that they can travel, too. I ask them why don’t they take a sabbatical and go? I elaborate on why traveling is important even though no one might be listening.

People laugh. They shake their heads as if I had asked them to do the impossible. They say it is not easy. What would their parents say? Their boss won’t allow. They are settled with their partners. Traveling would be too expensive.

They think these are unique problems. And they don’t get that why do people travel so much.

As I travel a lot myself, I understand why people leave their homes and travel around the world. In this poetic essay, I will tell you why do I travel and why traveling is important.

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Over the years, I have approached various men — both successfully and unsuccessfully.

I initiated the flirting and conversations and intimacy. I have realized expression makes everything easier. Don’t bottle up your feelings for long — unless expression would ruin everything.

Think what is the worst that can happen.

In college, I approached a friend — we used to gel well together — but he acted as if there was nothing. Hurt, I acted stupid, and this rejection gave me the best-drunk story of my life. More on that in another article.

All of us — men and women — think that we need seductive powers to approach people. No. Approaching people — some of whom might be our romantic interests — need confidence and social skills. It is not a mission — it is a day to day activity. You need to make people comfortable around you. No magic tricks, no email courses, no guides, no love gurus can teach you this.

To understand how to approach women, let us look at what are women exactly looking for.

I was unsure about this topic but then I thought of all friends, their friends, colleagues, men and women on internet and dating applications or marriage websites (this is specific to India) — looking for a date, a relationship, a life partner. Someone to share spaghetti and a glass of red wine at the end of the day or a samosa and a chai in the evening. To watch a movie on a Saturday night tucked in bed with grilled chicken on plate and whiskey on the rocks in glasses. To go for an impromptu drive in rain on a Friday evening with classical music on the radio. A post-Sunday-lunch nap with soft music in the background.

We all have friends, family, roommates, work, paychecks, hobbies, goals but we all need someone to look at us with a burning warmth in their eyes. To say that we mean the world to them. To say that they won’t be able to live without us. They crave that one hug of ours in the morning. They want us to bear their children, sleep the rest of the nights in one bed, and celebrate Diwali and Christmas together. When they see a slight cut on our finger, they overreact. They hold our hands and tell us that everything would be all right.

I thought this day would never come, but I am six days away from turning 30. I would have to change both the digits of my age in all the pre-filled internet forms.

A twenty-something me was working for software and finance giants, partying with friends, upset with family, trying to hold onto people that I should have let go, roaming around the world on my own, falling in love knowing that the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere and feeling shattered when the obvious happened, cooking in restaurants, almost leaving for Italy to attend a culinary course, stranded at South American borders, and saying things that should have been kept private; I was unsure of what I wanted.

Also Read: Why should you let your life flow – Lessons inspired by Rainer Maria Rilke.

Once when I was in the sixth grade, I asked my sister to make sandwiches for my school picnic. A string of events occurred, and she declared I was selfish.

I realized I was more interested in getting my work done, rather than the feelings and responses of other people (understanding emotions is a must read). The acknowledgment that I was a bad person and people knew about it was suffocating. I understood that I would be left alone if I did not change.

I consciously tried to become a better person by caring for other people and by showing that I cared.